22 August 2011

Reattaching the Strings to Aid

My favorite patriotic think tank has come out with a brilliant idea: the United States needs to exact more control over aid recipients. Nations who receive aid from our great government are more likely to vote against us in the UN. This must stop!

It is not enough that trade restrictions are included with loans and goods are purchased from outside the country. We should expect complete fealty as a way of thanking us for our abounding generosity. Loyalty has a price and it is in the amount of the next commitment of funds to Africa.

The problem is with laws:
Despite the potential to positively influence U.N. voting through the disbursement of U.S. foreign aid, current law does not specifically link U.S. aid to U.N. voting or even instruct the State Department to include U.N. voting when considering foreign assistance. Congress should link disbursement of U.S. development assistance to support for U.S. policy priorities in the U.N. and instruct the State Department and the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) to inform aid recipients of this policy through their missions in New York and explain that opposing U.S. priorities at the U.N. will make Americans, especially Congress, less inclined to continue providing aid.
Call your congress person and demand that assistance be linked to voting. While you are at it, tell them that welfare and entitlement recipients in the US have to do the same since they are getting money from the government. They least they could do is vote for those who give them free stuff like healthcare, food stamps and housing.

In fact, why not just take away voting rights since they really do not know better. Anyone who needs our money is unable to take care for him or herself. If they can't hold a job or run a government, why should either a country or a person receiving our benevolence be able to vote? Anyone who does not cooperate will lose everything until they agree to everything that we decide for them.

That is the American way!

Note: To get ahead of anyone who thinks this is serious; it is not. It is hastily written satire with a tinge of frustration that such a poorly conceived report could ever be published. Thank you, Heritage Foundation, for continuing to lower the bar. Unfortunately the limbo bar is too low for anyone to pass (except ants, they might have a shot).