09 June 2009

Stop Making Sense (Was I Ever?)

The power went down again last night.  By the time I was home it was back.  It continues to go out with greater frequency.  Always in the evening and remaining often through much of the following day.  Father Alfred told Michael that the power company had switched off our power one the days two weeks ago and he had to go to make them turn it back on.  I have a feeling that the struggle with the power company continues without our knowing.  It is not at all a terrible thing.  In fact, I have enjoyed the few powerless nights where I read by candlelight.  It has provided the most relaxing evenings here.  In turn, it has lead to my earliest bed times.  Every time I have struggled to make it to 9PM.  Usually I get tired by 8:30 and have to finish reading with my headlamp. 

Whenever I think that I am freed of any sort of crutch from home, it takes a power outage to show how much I still use my computer and ipod.  With the power down and the need to save computer batteries, I am forced to either sit and chat with Michael or read.  It is not the same when there are distractions, when there is the ability to do something else is always present.  There is something to be said for the potential of change.  The chance to move in a new direction, change the channel or activity.  Here, as much as I try, my options are few.  When I have power, I have a computer and books.  When I have no power, I have books and being.

I continue to use my computer as my connection to home, but I can still recognize it as a crutch.  I read an article in the newspaper by Jack and Sue Welsh (the former CEO of GE and his wife and please forgive if I misspelled either of their names).  They are featured in the Tuesday financial section each week and discuss various topics.  This week was twitter.  What struck me was what someone said was a reason to use twitter was to “feel more connected in a disconnected world.”  Maybe, conscious of blogging, the internet is what drives the lack of connection.  The need to be in contact, constantly, with everyone takes away time from the people that surround you.  Rather than be, you facebook, myspace, twitter and so on.  I write to be connected to the people at home, but as long as I am here it remains superficial.

This cannot make up for the thousands of miles that I remain away from the United States.  So, I am making my goal to be more self-aware of my presence in Kenya.  I think I mentioned working on it before, but I wish to continue to strive for greater self-awareness.  Thus, I will be and blog about being or at least my attempt to be.  If that makes sense?

A little David Byrne to close, because it is the song that jumped into my head after writing the above:

“Stop making sense, stop making sense...stop making sense, making sense”